- Robert Benchley
Posts tagged quote.
Law of Equality :
The time taken by a wife when she says I’ll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says ‘I’ll cal u in 5 min!
Law of Queue:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.😐
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will work perfectly, especially when the mechanic reaches your home
Law of Bio Mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
People with the seats at the farthest from the entry arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Proposal :
After u accept a proposal you will get a better one..
كما تدين تدان.
.الجيات أحسن من الرايحات
What is coming is better than what is gone.
“The simple fact is that when I lost my son, when Karac left us, I really changed. I mean, there’s nothing on the planet to equal that kind of grief…it still makes me shudder. No matter how good you are or how capable you are or how strong you are or how well-intentioned you are, you don’t get over anything like that." - Robert Plant
He had heard it made before by people of many different nationalities. The illusion that freedom is the prerogative of one’s own particular race is fairly widespread.
Dr. Gerard was wiser. He knew that no race, no country and no individual could be described as free.
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.
He read with nothing but appetite—without discrimination or judgment, sometimes without understanding.
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…
…and you finish off as an orgasm.”
- George Carlin (via sirias74)
The Strange Case of
Science does not purvey absolute truth, science is a mechanism. It’s a way of trying to improve your knowledge of nature, it’s a system for testing your thoughts against the universe and seeing whether they match.
What’s the difference between a commercial rapper and a pile of shit? ‘The pile of shit does not peddle drug-induced lyrics to the people!’
The sun in your eyes made some of the lies worth believing
Because I can lie beautiful true things into existence, & let people escape from inside their own heads & see through other eyes.
Everything on the tour went drastically wrong. But at least there was a tour for it to go wrong on. - Steve ‘Lips’ Kudlow
ANVIL! The Story of Anvil - Sacha Gervasi
This part made me cry like a bitch =’(